The Craziest Weekend

Late one Friday night, I got the email that I had been dreading. The US had raised the travel advisory to Level 4: Do Not Travel. This translated to a full suspension of the Fulbright program and sending all grantees, who were still abroad and could leave, home. I was being sent home. The voluntary departure was becoming a mandatory one. This was so hard for me. I knew I wanted to stay, but I don't think I knew quite how much until I read those words. I started to cry immediately. I talked to my host mom, called my parents and I just sat with the news as I laid in bed most of the night trying to figure out what was next. 

24 hours later, my sadness turned into confusion. On Saturday, I was given something that I thought was gone. A chance to stay. They told us that because of the control that Korea had over the virus and how it was looking like it was getting better, the ETAs were getting special permission to go back to voluntary departure status. Now I am going crazy. I had just gotten it in my head that I was going home. I thought about it and wrestled with this decision for the next day. I barely slept. I knew I wanted to stay, but now with the travel ban, I wasn't sure if that meant I wouldn't be able to get home on my new grant ending date of June 30th. I also was trying to decide if it was even worth staying. We still hadn't started school yet. And with the projected school start date, I would only get a solid three months with my kids, provided the date doesn't get pushed again. 

As soon as I had come to the decision that I wanted to stay, another email came through. They told us they were sorry, they had made a mistake, they weren't able to give us the choice to stay. We all had to go home. If we wanted to stay, we would have to do it on our own. Meaning, get new visas and become a foreign teacher in Korea, without the protections and support that Fulbright provides. Now I had to decide if this new choice was worth it. I never planned to stay in Korea beyond my second year. I had already started the application process for a job back home. Is it worth all the trouble of getting a new visa, negotiating a new contract, and doing all the other requirements in order to say for only three more months, even though I had no idea when we were going back to school? After a long night with little sleep for the third night in a row, I had to decide.

I'm going home. 

I just hope I'm making the right decision....