What's Next?

I learned a lot while I was in Korea. I learned about myself, about teaching, about cultural differences, and a lot about being not just independent but also self-sufficient. I feel like I have grown up so much. But as with everything, there is a beginning and an end. As my time in Korea has now ended, my next journey starts. 

I recently accepted a teaching position as a middle school special education teacher. I am so excited. I am back where I started. I am going to be teaching at the middle school that I went to. I'm a wildcat again. It's weird to think about the fact that the whole adventure in Korea is done, but I think I am ready to be a special education teacher again. It's strange. I still feel like I'm a kid. Even when I was teaching abroad, I never felt like a real teacher. I have no choice now. I am an adult. I bought my first car all on my own. I'm paying my own phone bill. And in a few months, I am going to be in charge of my very own classroom. 

Thank you for everyone who read my posts for the last two years. 

I've had so much fun writing about my time during the last two years, I wanted to find a way to continue. 

안녕!

The Craziest Weekend

Late one Friday night, I got the email that I had been dreading. The US had raised the travel advisory to Level 4: Do Not Travel. This translated to a full suspension of the Fulbright program and sending all grantees, who were still abroad and could leave, home. I was being sent home. The voluntary departure was becoming a mandatory one. This was so hard for me. I knew I wanted to stay, but I don't think I knew quite how much until I read those words. I started to cry immediately. I talked to my host mom, called my parents and I just sat with the news as I laid in bed most of the night trying to figure out what was next. 

24 hours later, my sadness turned into confusion. On Saturday, I was given something that I thought was gone. A chance to stay. They told us that because of the control that Korea had over the virus and how it was looking like it was getting better, the ETAs were getting special permission to go back to voluntary departure status. Now I am going crazy. I had just gotten it in my head that I was going home. I thought about it and wrestled with this decision for the next day. I barely slept. I knew I wanted to stay, but now with the travel ban, I wasn't sure if that meant I wouldn't be able to get home on my new grant ending date of June 30th. I also was trying to decide if it was even worth staying. We still hadn't started school yet. And with the projected school start date, I would only get a solid three months with my kids, provided the date doesn't get pushed again. 

As soon as I had come to the decision that I wanted to stay, another email came through. They told us they were sorry, they had made a mistake, they weren't able to give us the choice to stay. We all had to go home. If we wanted to stay, we would have to do it on our own. Meaning, get new visas and become a foreign teacher in Korea, without the protections and support that Fulbright provides. Now I had to decide if this new choice was worth it. I never planned to stay in Korea beyond my second year. I had already started the application process for a job back home. Is it worth all the trouble of getting a new visa, negotiating a new contract, and doing all the other requirements in order to say for only three more months, even though I had no idea when we were going back to school? After a long night with little sleep for the third night in a row, I had to decide.

I'm going home. 

I just hope I'm making the right decision....

Coronavirus

I have mentioned in a few recent posts about the Coronavirus (Covid-19), but I haven't really spoken about how it has impacted me and my interactions with the changes in the society around me because of the virus.

My first realization about the virus and how it was spreading was when I went to Busan. This was mid-January time. I was hearing about it getting bad in China but Korea had maybe three cases at the time. I really didn't think about it yet.

I knew it was something I needed to really lookout for when I was traveling to Japan in early February. I was going to Seoul the night before and as soon as I arrived, I realized the atmosphere felt different. Given, the fine dust levels in Seoul are usually high, so there are always people wearing masks when I go to the city. But it was different this time. Because of the high pollution levels and the virus, everyone was wearing a mask. To the point where I actually felt like I had to wear a mask. I was getting strange looks from people. Truthfully, I always get strange looks from Koreans. It comes with being a foreigner in a very homogeneous country. I did buy a mask though. I knew I would be going through the airport the next day, and I should have it. I really hate wearing masks. They make me feel like I'm suffocating and whenever I have to talk, I feel like I have to shout.

In Japan, I began noticing everywhere I went, I would see signs saying that the staff is wearing masks to protect themselves and the costumers from the virus, as well as big bottles of antibacterial hand gel at the entrance of most of the places that I visited.

The airport wasn't as scary as it seemed like it would be, considering the virus has been mostly spread by traveling, but both in Korea and in Japan, everyone had to go through this additional screening room when entering the country, where you would pass through a sensor that was trying to detect a fever, I think. It was a little intimidating, as it was just a big white room, with not much in it, but I made it through easily of course, and I know it is there for everyone's safety.

Not too long after returning home, it started to get pretty bad here. The number of cases here began to rise very quickly, and it became really serious for a lot of people, especially in Daegu. There are several ETAs whose placement is actually in Daegu, so that is kind of scary. None of them were infected, thankfully.

Now, it seems like the whole dynamic of the country has changed in the last few weeks. Festivals have been canceled, the government has advised people not to go to religious events or worship, and the start of school has been postponed almost a month.

So now, I am pretty much just biding time here in my little town until school starts. We've been advised not to travel outside our placement cities, so most days I've been hanging out at home working on anything that will keep me busy, like my teaching application for back home, my Korean studying, and a bunch more, as well as hanging out with my host siblings who are also stuck at home. It gets a bit tedious and boring at times, but I know I'd rather be doing nothing here, and eventually get to teach again, then go home to do nothing, and be done with my grant here altogether.I'm hoping the situation will improve within this month, so we can return to a semblance of normalcy,, and I can start going around the country again on my weekends and finish out my grant with a bang.

Also, if I can't travel for the rest of the grant, then this is going to be a pretty boring blog for the next few months.

For anyone that is worried, where I am is pretty safe. There are very few cases in my province, lets hope it stays that way.

Should I stay or should I go?....

It's no secret that the coronavirus has gotten much worse in Korea, especially in the last few weeks. Barely a week ago, Korea raised its status to red. It has told everyone not to travel unless it is essential, and lots of festivals and events have been canceled. The idea is to limit people's contact with each other.

But, up here on my little mountain, it doesn't feel quite as real. I know when I go into town, everyone will have a mask on, and there won't be a single soldier in sight as they have all been restricted to base, I think.

It got more serious, to me personally, with an email. Recently, all of the Fulbrighters in Korea have been given the chance to decide if they want to go home early and end their grant.

I don't know what to do, or how to go from here. I knew when I received my grant that there was always this possibility that is something happened in our host country, that we could be sent home. But it never occurred to me that it would actually happen. I just wish that they would just tell we have to go, instead of making it a choice. I don't want to make that choice. A lot of people are telling me that I need to think about my safety and put myself first, but I have this life here. I've already come to terms with my whole Korean adventure ending in July, and I am ready to go home and start my next chapter, but I don't want this chapter to be cut short.

I suppose what I can do for now is just keep an eye out and make my decision if it gets worse. Luckily this isn't a one and done choice. I will get other chances if I do change my mind, but for now, I'm going to stay. I'm going to try, at least, to stay for as long as I possibly can.

Wish me luck!

To Travel, or Not To Travel

Being okay with not traveling is probably one of the hardest things to learn when you are living in another country. When you are living in a place where half of the reason you are there is to experience everything you can in the time that you have.

Every time I open up Instagram, I can feel it. The thoughts in my head are telling me that I need to be doing something, experiencing something. Otherwise, I might as well be home with my friends and being a part of their lives back there. I feel guilty when I decide that I want to spend time at home. I wonder if I would be different right now if I had decided to move into an apartment this year instead of another homestay. I wonder if I would be different if I had chosen to move to another city. One that is a lot closer to the other ETAs or just the cities that I haven't yet gotten to see. 

I know I made the right decision to stay for a second year and I know I made the right decision to stay in Hwacheon with my homestay. They are fantastic and I am having a fantastic year. 

But then again. I see other ETAs going on these fantastic trips, doing all these things that I could be doing if I wasn't at home. Right now is winter vacations. Unlike in the US, winter vacation is the break between school years, so it is a bit longer. After school finishes and I have my winter camp, I am free to do whatever I want until school starts in March. This ultimately gives me about a month and a half off. 

Now the total amount of time given to each ETA varies. Some get the minimum, and some get more. I am lucky in that I get a bit more. And in this month and a half long vacation, I only planned two trips. Four days in Busan and Nine in Japan. And while they are fantastic trips and places I have really wanted to go to for a while, its hard to compare to the multi-country, several week-long trips that the others plan. 

I know, I know. I shouldn't compare myself to other people. But it is hard. 

While I am very happy with the trips I made for myself and extremely proud of how brave I  feel to solo-travel both of the trips, I can't help but feel like I need to fill up the rest of the time I have on vacation. 

Last year, I was working towards my black belt test so every day I went to my lesson. I didn't really travel much at all, so I suppose the amount of traveling I've done so far this year is great comparing it to myself. 

But at the same time, I also know that unlike last year, I'm not coming back next year. This is my last chance before Korea is going to be a very expensive plane ride away. 

It will be okay. I know it will. This is just where I am because I've spent the last three days in my house. 

And if I had been away the last few days, I would have missed a spectacular fireworks display and a regular playdate with my host brothers building houses and towers with my Jenga blocks. FOMO (Fear of missing out) is hard but a smart person told me that the best way to fight FOMO is to give yourself something fantastic to do instead. Even if that is just a movie night with the host fam or mental-health veg out session with Netflix and some tea, and that is exactly what I plan to do. Give myself some weekends to go on short trips and some weekends to hangout at home. As for the rest of my vacation? I don't know. I guess I will just have to wait and see. 

6th Grade Graduation

A few days ago, I taught my last class for the 2019 school year, and yesterday, I said goodbye to the students that I started with. My 6th graders are charming, and smart and enthusiastic. They are also brats and made me want to pull my hair out or duct tape their mouths... or both.

As I stood in the back of the gym, I thought about all of the days I've taught these kids in the past year and a half. Each student that walked across the stage is someone that I've talked to, worked with and that I care about. I am so proud to have seen these students reach the end of their time in elementary school.

After all the students did the walk, some fifth and sixth graders performed. Usually, it is just dancing, which is always so good. I'm amazed every time by the talent of these kids, but we also had some play instruments and had a few fifth-grade boys who decided they wanted to rap and sing. It was so cute. I had to put my hand over my mouth so that I wasn't laughing in the video I was taking. It was so cute.

After the performances, the students are dismissed and I tried my best to congratulate and give hugs to as many students as I could. When I hugged Siyeon (my old host sister), I couldn't help but start to cry. I was so proud of her. So proud of all of them.

Getting a Korean Tutor

When I first came to Korea, I thought to myself "I can't live in a country for a whole year and not come back with some sort of language proficiency" but as the months went on, I realized I wasn't making the progress I wanted to. Given, I didn't work nearly as hard on learning Korean my first semester as I was struggling just to keep up with everything else going on, but in the spring when I started to study more and more, I realized I needed help. I wasn't close enough to go to any Korean classes for foreigners, so I opted for the online approach.

After some searching, I finally did find a website for online tutors that set their own prices. I actually lucked out in finding someone for pretty cheap who is really awesome. She is very patient and understanding. I have made a lot of progress in the past few months. Having a teacher there puts pressure on me to actually study and retain what she teaches me. For that, I have benefited. I have had lessons once a week for several months now and I'm really happy about that. I think I might actually get to the point by the end of my second year, where I will actually be able to speak in the language, therefore making it easier to study and retain Korean when I get back to the US. I don't want to have gone through all of this effort in the past year just to turn around and lose it when I get home like I did in Spanish after my college classes were over.

*Fingers crossed.

AND...............We're Back!!!

After a looooooong flight, I'm back in Korea and ready to hit the ground running this year. As a second year, I didn't have to come to orientation until the second to last day. This was wonderful for my vacation since it gave me about a month home, but it's not great for meeting and getting to know the first years. I think this may be more important, simply because the number of renewees is minimal compared to the amount there were last year. And by that I mean, my cohort had about 80 people in it last year. A group of people that got to know each other and bond over the 6 weeks at orientation, but this year there is a new group of 80 strong and just us few who are left from last year. We are given 24 hours to get to know a whole new group of people. Regardless, it was still really nice being able to go home and then being back at Yonsei for a day. I was able to meet the new ETAs that will be teaching in Hwacheon, including the other ETA that was placed at my school. They are all so kind and I'm so excited to start working and hanging out with them. It also feels a bit odd since I have already been here for a year so I'm their friend but also a pseudo-authority on Hwacheon.

I think I'm really ready to tackle this year. It feels almost like last year was a tutorial and this year I am actually playing the game. But that just means that I have more places to see, things to do and memories to make. I think I'm ready. We'll just have to wait and see on this one I suppose.

This year, I'm also teaching 5th and 6th graders so I'm sure I'll have plenty of stories to tell from there as well.

Going Home

Its the end of an era. I'm going home today. It took a few days and a large plastic box, but all my stuff is packed and I am ready. Physically at least. Emotionally? I don't know yet. My host siblings and my host mom already left. I had to do my goodbye and I didn't think I would be this sad. I mean, it's not like I'm never coming back. I'll be back in a few weeks, but because I'm changing houses, it feels really final. It feels like it's all over. Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited for next year and the adventure that it will bring, but it's still hard. After I left school yesterday, I spent a few hours with the other ETA at my school. She is not coming back next year. When we finally left the cafe to go home, it hit us both that it would be the last time we would see each other.

This past year has been hard. I don't think I realized quite how unready I was for this. I have always been a pretty independent person, but this year, I felt like every time I wanted to do something, I was scared to do it alone. It took a few months before I felt comfortable taking the train, going on a trip alone, or even just feeling comfortable going to a cafe alone. But I think I have learned from that and I can use this confidence to travel even more this year.

This time, I won't be coming back with rose-colored glasses on. I'm not the nieve girl that's never been abroad. I'm ready, but at the same time, I know I have a lot of work to do.

I'm only going home for about threeish weeks. Three and some change, but I get to be home for my birthday. I get to see my family and my dogs. I get to go to a get-together with my friends that I haven't seen in over a year. Just so much has changed. It doesn't feel real that I haven't been home in over a year. In college, I never really missed home like this. I longed for it because I missed easy days and relaxation, but I always enjoyed school better because all my friends were there, but now, home is where all my friends are.

This has been a very rambly post but it doesn't matter because I get to go home. Goodbyes are always bittersweet but a necessity in life.

Dealing with Different Perspectives- A Year of Growth

Before coming to Korea last July, I had never been out of the United States. I didn't even own a passport until a few months before I left. I grew up in the same small town with the same people my whole life. While the area was in some ways diverse, it severely lacked an Asian population. I think that might be what made Asian culture so interesting to me when I started to research it. It just seemed so different from how I was used to acting and thinking. 

When I made the decision to come to Korea, a lot of people asked me "why?" Why did I choose Korea? Why didn't I want to go to Europe? But I just felt like I needed to go somewhere completely new. I am a teacher. As a teacher, I knew I would have to have a lot of different types of children in my classroom, and I wanted to do something that was completely new and so far away from my norm, that I would change how I thought about others. 

When I first arrived, I was not immediately thrust into the Korean population. Instead, I was, thankfully, placed in a six-week orientation. Just being around 86 people from all around America for six weeks was eye-opening for me. Everyone had their own story, their own views, and beliefs. Even their own ways of playing classic games like UNO!

But that wasn't the real test. 

The real test came once I arrived at my homestay. I knew very quickly that it would not be a smooth transition. A lot of the food that they ate, I just couldn't! I couldn't eat spicy food (yet). I also didn't eat fish, one of my host dad's favorite dishes.

As the weeks passed, I had to interact with people who differed drastically from me on the way they thought and acted. And for a while, I felt like they were in the wrong. After all,  I was here to show them how the Americans did this or that, right? But then I came to an important realization: my job was as a teacher, but also as a cultural ambassador. So while I showed them what it was like to live in the United States, I also began to accept that not everything about the way I grew up is either the best or only way to do things.

A good example of this is when I started to take taekwondo lessons. I had been doing martial arts for ten years, so some things are just ingrained into my muscles; so when the Master in Korea told me to change how I did things, I was resistant, and neglectful, often forgetting to do them. This could be anything from the way I was standing, or how I held my arms or the way I tied my belt. But after doing lessons for a while with this new Master, I realized, that I was starting to do things in the same way as everyone else around me. I don't know when it started, but all the sudden I realized the Master was correcting someone else on that one thing I had always got wrong, instead of me!

Another example of being challenged to change my thinking was when speaking to Koreans in English. I would, at first, get annoyed by certain phrases that everyone seemed to use.

But learning more about the Korean language, I now know they were just directly translating phrases that are very commonly said in Korean into English. It wasn't wrong. It still made sense. It was just different. 

I have come to realize that when someone does something a little differently than me, it doesn't automatically make it inferior. They probably have a purpose for doing it that way. And I have learned to respect how people interact with me and others. Especially after doing more research about the history and culture, giving me a reason why. 

By accepting these differences, it has led me to be able to have new experiences I never would have done if I had stayed close-minded.

*This post was originally created for Reach The World, a website that connects classrooms with people traveling around the world. 

Well....It's official. I'm Staying!

So I've been hinting at it in previous posts, but it wasn't official until a few days ago. Way back in February, I decided that I wanted to renew my Fulbright grant here in Korea. The Korean Fulbright ETA grant is renewable up to three years. Applications opened back in March and I quickly filled it out. I don't know if this was more or less nerve wracking then the first time I applied. It was a really tense few months of will I, won't I.

This week, after being told we were going to receive our notifications a month prior, I was finally told that I was accepted for a second year, and my school was very enthusiastic about me continuing in Hwacheon. So there you go anyone who has been interested in knowing.

I AM STAYING IN KOREA!!!

For another year, at least. I don't think, at this point, I will renew for a third year. I miss being home and I want to start my career. But at the same time, I feel like my journey here in Korea isn't over yet.

My host family won't be hosting me next year, but I'll still see them around and I am still so thankful for them for hosting me. Part of my homestay contract requires me to have my own room, and I took the oldest girl's room when I got here. She has been sharing with her two younger brothers and she's getting older. She needs her own room and her own space. I understand.

I don't know yet who will be hosting me, there are apparently three families that applied to host me or the other ETA at my school. So hopefully, I will know and be able to meet my family before I leave in July.

Now that I know I am staying, I finally have my flight information and can tell all my friends exactly when I am home, so I can see everyone. I have missed them so much over the past year. I spent the last four years around these people everyday, so it has been an adjustment. Some friends I have had even longer.

Well that's it. That's all I have. But on the bright side, there is another year of posts coming to all of you. Thank you so much for coming on this journey for the past year, and I look forward to another one.

선생님 이에요! (I am a teacher)

"Teacher, teacher, teacher!!!"

The word that I have always used to describe my future career now it's my whole identity.

Lets rewind.

I don't remember when I decided I would be a teacher when I grew up. I just always knew. I always had this love for teaching, for school, for helping others, and for kids.

One thing that I do love about the american education system, it that dispute being a teacher, you retain your identity. Here, it doesn't feel like you do.

I was explaining this to a friend back home when she asked about what my students call me. In Korean culture, your title is more important than your name. I don't know if this is because its so easy to have similar or the same name as others, or because of the need to have pride and save face by being successful, or some other reason I don't even know.

So if you are a teacher in Korea, you are often just called 선생님 (son-sang-nim) or if they need to be more specific then your name then 선생님. For example, in English my title is literally Kristy Teacher to the kids. To some students, I am just Teacher, others I am just Kristy, and some call me Kristy Teacher. Most of my students just call me teacher though. Especially if they are calling me over.

A few weeks ago another fulbrighter was teaching her students to say "My name is blah, his name is blah," etc. And she pointed to their homeroom teacher and said "her name is..." She was really surprised when none of her students could tell her their teacher's name. Some of them just said 선생님, because they didn't know. Now they are only third graders and I know the older students do know their student's names but it was just very surprising and really made me think about that.

In america, I know its a big deal if students know your first name, and some teachers try to keep it a secret, but it was even more surprising that 'teacher' becomes their entire identity.

And mine.

I walk through school, "hello teacher"

I walk through town, "Oh, Hi teacher!"

I'm in my house and host sibling's friends come over "Teacher!?!"

About a month into my stay with my homestay, I actually had to tell my host parents to tell the kids to just call me Kristy, because I felt weird about being called teacher at home. I love being a teacher but I don't want it to be my whole identity. But in a country where the biggest job market for foreigners is English teacher, my whole appearance makes people assume I am a teacher. I have literally been approached multiple times and within five minutes I would be offered a job as a private tutor or an academy teacher.

But it's who I am. I am a teacher. I can't change that. So as long as I am here, my name is teacher. Not Kristy. Not Ms. Sonberg. Just Teacher.

Wish me luck.

A Karate Girl in a Taekwondo World

Very early in orientation, taekwondo became one of my fourth points. If you are not a fulbrighter in Korea, you may not know what I am talking about. A fourth point is a thing that you do to keep your life balanced. The other three points are professional, personal and self. But your 4th point is something that is something you do that balances the rest of your life out. I have seen many peoples points being very different. Some do exercise, some volunteer, some travel and one even person does swing dance. It can be anything. My biggest and most important one is Taekwondo.

As many people know, I have studied karate since the age of 12. I have earned my way to my 2nd-degree black belt. For those who don't know, karate, in its origin, is Japan. Therefore in many ways is in direct confliction with taekwondo, despite having similar roots. When I decided to apply for my Fulbright grant, one of the ways that I wanted to really interact with the community around me is by taking taekwondo lessons. I just didn't realize how hard it was going to be when I actually started lessons.

Don't get me wrong, I have had experience with taekwondo before. The past two presidents of Martial Arts Club in college were black belts in it. Therefore, going in, I knew there were going to be some initial conflicts with what I did purely by habit after 10 years, and what the master was trying to teach me. I just didn't realize quite how not ready I was. 

For one, taekwondo is very kick heavy and they rely a lot on kicking high and kicking fast, which I have difficulty doing since I lost a lot of my flexibility and my stamina during college. But that is not the problem; I can improve that in time. What gets me are the things that I have been doing a certain way for 10 years, and now I am being told to do things I have never been allowed to do before, like short stances or dropping my hands when I kick. 

This is still going to be something I stick with, however. I really want to, and it makes you a better martial artist to know multiple forms, even if one will be your main. I definitely think I will go back to Shotokan when I get back to the states, but for now, I a working on breaking my habits, improving my speed and flexibility, and working towards my black belt test in March. We'll see what happens. Wish me luck!

Last Week of Orientation

My last week of orientations was...well, a tearful one. As I knew everything was coming to a close and that we were all moving on to the reason we all began this adventure, I couldn't help but think about everything that we were leaving. Between the 85 new friends that I have made to the nightly walks around Campus Town, or even just the familiarity of speaking with another native English speaker, I knew that the last six weeks were going to be something I will miss, and the memories I will cherish.

The week started off with preparations for our Korean Language Instruction Graduation. I even now have a paper that tells me I completed 110 hours of instruction in the Korean language, though it doesn't feel like it. I was terrified because it meant that my class and I would have to speak in front of Director Shim, all the Korean teachers, and the rest of the cohort. In Korean. I am so thankful for the rest of my class. They really helped me through it. After our mini-skits, we sang "Remember Me" from the movie COCO, in Korean. I actually really enjoyed that part. My 선상님s (Teachers) were all crying as they gave us hugs and took pictures with us. I may not remember much about the Korean language, I did learn a lot about the culture and gained five more people I could turn to for help.

After that was our farewell from Taekwondo. It was a lot of fun those eight classes, and the master even took us out to dinner to celebrate our time there and to new adventures. Each of the kids was also assigned to give us each a note. Mine was so adorable. The boy called me a 외국인누나 (Foreigner older sister) which was too cute.

We also had our talent show, which I talked about in a previous post. That was so much fun finding out about people's talents I didn't know they had. Like singing, spoken poetry, and so many ukeleles. It was great. There was also a spoof on the OCTs which was spot on and hilarious. I am so proud of the people that wrote it.

Flowers from my Co-teacher

The next day we finally got our ARCs and our homestay information. I am staying with a lovely family with three kids. A girl 시연, who is in my fifth-grade class, a boy 민준 who is in second grade and a little boy 민찬 who is 7 and will start school in March. They are all so adorable, but more on them later.

Friday was the day. It was the day that we all go our separate ways. It was a tearful and exhausting day. I met my co-teacher, who I think I will get along with very nicely, and I traveled all the way to Hwacheon, my home for the next year.

I am grateful the Fulbright Korea gives us those six weeks to learn and create the support system that exists now.