Going Home

Its the end of an era. I'm going home today. It took a few days and a large plastic box, but all my stuff is packed and I am ready. Physically at least. Emotionally? I don't know yet. My host siblings and my host mom already left. I had to do my goodbye and I didn't think I would be this sad. I mean, it's not like I'm never coming back. I'll be back in a few weeks, but because I'm changing houses, it feels really final. It feels like it's all over. Don't get me wrong, I'm really excited for next year and the adventure that it will bring, but it's still hard. After I left school yesterday, I spent a few hours with the other ETA at my school. She is not coming back next year. When we finally left the cafe to go home, it hit us both that it would be the last time we would see each other.

This past year has been hard. I don't think I realized quite how unready I was for this. I have always been a pretty independent person, but this year, I felt like every time I wanted to do something, I was scared to do it alone. It took a few months before I felt comfortable taking the train, going on a trip alone, or even just feeling comfortable going to a cafe alone. But I think I have learned from that and I can use this confidence to travel even more this year.

This time, I won't be coming back with rose-colored glasses on. I'm not the nieve girl that's never been abroad. I'm ready, but at the same time, I know I have a lot of work to do.

I'm only going home for about threeish weeks. Three and some change, but I get to be home for my birthday. I get to see my family and my dogs. I get to go to a get-together with my friends that I haven't seen in over a year. Just so much has changed. It doesn't feel real that I haven't been home in over a year. In college, I never really missed home like this. I longed for it because I missed easy days and relaxation, but I always enjoyed school better because all my friends were there, but now, home is where all my friends are.

This has been a very rambly post but it doesn't matter because I get to go home. Goodbyes are always bittersweet but a necessity in life.